Hello dear ones,
What a year! I cannot believe that it's been so long since my last post nor can I believe how much in my life has changed. I've had my heart broken by the one person that promised he never would, family and friends have experienced medical hardships, I've adopted yet another adorable Pekingese and..oh yeah...my Mom has moved in with me. Yes, life is full of change.
Change isn't new to me. My entire life, your entire life, everyone's life is about change. But what is interesting is how consistently upside down my changes seem to be! ha ha ha
When I was young I knew I would be a criminal psychologist, married with children. When I was married I knew I would be divorced. When I was divorced I knew I didn't want children nor did I want to carry a gun anymore and pick up "perps." When I met my ex-beau I knew I wanted to be married, have kids and a white picket fence. Now, now I only know that I'll have extra dog poop to clean up in the morning. Is knowing that there is nothing to truly "know" a sign of wisdom or complete exhaustion?!
Most of the changes in my life are positive though sometimes I have to squint to see the good. Having a new dog in the family is wonderful in the sense of the additional love and joy. My job, while not a recent change, is a change that I'm still thrilled with. The change in my relationship status is painful and sad but I understand it and while I'm not happy about this change I do see the potential for both he and I to heal and move on. The biggest change of all, having my Mom move in is bittersweet. It's wonderful in the sense that I can care for her and protect her but sad in that I hate that she had to give up her home and make the move. My Mom is young but plagued with various medical issues that make living alone challenging. She's a trooper and will be able to maintain her independence living here, just has to put up with me and my pack of dogs.
The changes that aren't so positive are with me and my soul. I find myself restless in spirit. I've lost touch with God and I'm ashamed of the distance. I'm overwhelmed by the stress and anxiety I've brought on myself and shocked by the anger that seems to be so close to the surface lately. Fortunately, I can make it through this and fight to be better. Isn't that what life is about, fighting to be a better person?
May all of you find positive in change and see the hope in something new.
Best wishes and high hopes to you all,
Jennie and all of the Pretty Pekes + one lumpy Terrier