Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Catching up...

Hello friends,
I'm sorry to have been absent for so long between posts. I finally know what folks on all of those depression commercials are talking about - I am very sad. I cannot seem to stay out of a "funk" for more than a day and I haven't wanted to use this blog to voice my feelings. We're all down in the dumps about something - many are having harder times than me but I can't seem to stay consistent in my emotions.

I'm just so sad and angry about not working, worried about how long I'll be out of work and well, just plain lonely. I miss listening to others banter in the halls, feeling as if I have a purpose, having people ask me for help and guidance. I miss having a reason to stay out of bed after I've fed my beloved dogs. I miss feeling strong and tough. I used to be the woman that nothing bothered,that had shoulders broad enough to handle everyone's issues and care for everyone else but now they are slumped and most of the time covered with a t-shirt from the dirty laundry basket. I know...yuck!

Some things I have noticed though in my melancholy, mean reds as Holly GoLightly called them.

1)One never really owns as much underwear as one thinks...eventually laundry day has to happen.
2) Eating an entire box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls in one sitting is really not a good idea.
3) Even with all of the lights off and the covers pulled over my head, the neighbors still know I'm home.
4) Closing the doors to unused rooms does nothing but allow the dust bunnies to grow stronger and more bold about showing themselves. I thought I had tumbleweeds in my den!
5) I would be my ideal weight by now if I had stopped sleeping and worked out (and put down the Little Debbies.)

So armed with these facts and some warm weather I'm trying to recapture a little of me. I've started working part time at the jewelry store I mentioned in an earlier post. It pays nothing but it gets me out of the house and I get super discounts on jewelry I can't afford! Tomorrow I will bathe the dogs and give them much needed manicures. I will sweep my neighbor's leaves off my porch for the 100th time. I will catch the dust bunnies...

Hopefully I'll feel creative enough to work on some ATCs and my journal again. I have been looking at everyone's blogs and comforted by your artwork and updates. Thank you to everyone for opening your lives up and sharing a bit of you with me.

Till next time...

Best wishes and high hopes to you all,


  1. Oh dear one! I know how depression can suck the life out of you. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with it. Sounds like you have a good plan, though, to deal with it. And I hope things turn around soon for you job-wise. That sucks for sure. I will be praying for you and thinking good thoughts.

  2. Everything happens for a reason. It gives us insight, empathy, courage, adventure. Use this time to explore the creative side of you, to make art, to perhaps open up your OWN Etsy shop, to learn. Walk, visit friends, hug your babies, connect, and envision what you want to do next.
    We all have those t-shirt, kick the cat (ok, not kick the cat - my cats are mad at me for saying that LOL) kind of days.... and being unemployed must be horridly difficult, but use your time to explore the wonders of the world.

    One day at a time. Glad you have a great mother and man....! patti

  3. Hey Jennie! Thanks for visiting me. It's always nice to hear from you. I am so sorry that you are having such a tough time right now. Wish there were something I could do to help you out. You're in my prayers too. It WILL get better, God has something great in store for you. Try to make the most of this time and know you have a shoulder to cry on, or should I say a screen to type to... lol! Give your dogs a big hug for me. xoxo Rhonda...