I'm sorry to have been absent for so long between posts. I finally know what folks on all of those depression commercials are talking about - I am very sad. I cannot seem to stay out of a "funk" for more than a day and I haven't wanted to use this blog to voice my feelings. We're all down in the dumps about something - many are having harder times than me but I can't seem to stay consistent in my emotions.
I'm just so sad and angry about not working, worried about how long I'll be out of work and well, just plain lonely. I miss listening to others banter in the halls, feeling as if I have a purpose, having people ask me for help and guidance. I miss having a reason to stay out of bed after I've fed my beloved dogs. I miss feeling strong and tough. I used to be the woman that nothing bothered,that had shoulders broad enough to handle everyone's issues and care for everyone else but now they are slumped and most of the time covered with a t-shirt from the dirty laundry basket. I know...yuck!
Some things I have noticed though in my melancholy, mean reds as Holly GoLightly called them.
1)One never really owns as much underwear as one thinks...eventually laundry day has to happen.
2) Eating an entire box of Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls in one sitting is really not a good idea.
3) Even with all of the lights off and the covers pulled over my head, the neighbors still know I'm home.
4) Closing the doors to unused rooms does nothing but allow the dust bunnies to grow stronger and more bold about showing themselves. I thought I had tumbleweeds in my den!
5) I would be my ideal weight by now if I had stopped sleeping and worked out (and put down the Little Debbies.)
So armed with these facts and some warm weather I'm trying to recapture a little of me. I've started working part time at the jewelry store I mentioned in an earlier post. It pays nothing but it gets me out of the house and I get super discounts on jewelry I can't afford! Tomorrow I will bathe the dogs and give them much needed manicures. I will sweep my neighbor's leaves off my porch for the 100th time. I will catch the dust bunnies...
Hopefully I'll feel creative enough to work on some ATCs and my journal again. I have been looking at everyone's blogs and comforted by your artwork and updates. Thank you to everyone for opening your lives up and sharing a bit of you with me.
Till next time...
Best wishes and high hopes to you all,